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Finding Peace And Meaning In Death And Bereavement – Dr. Lani Leary

DR. LANI LEARY: “This is a conversation that everyone one of us needs to have, yet few are prepared for in life. Too many people in our society have no idea how to properly help a loved one who’s dying. We don’t know what to say, how to act or what needs the dying have. Similarly, many don’t know what to say to the grieving or how to act around their presence either. This Afterlife TV episode offers a revealing conversation with Dr. Lani Leary who is an authority on how to find peace and meaning in both death and bereavement.” ~ Bob Olson, Afterlife TV


Dr. Lani Leary discusses what matters most to the dying and bereaved.

CONTACT DR. LANI LEARY: Dr. Lani Leary welcomes your questions or comments about this video and subject. If you have questions or comments for her, you can contact her at [email protected]. Tell her you saw the Afterlife TV interview with her.


To Purchase Dr. Lani Leary’s Book No One Has To Die Alone (Amazon affiliate): (link takes you to Lani’s book page).

Lani Leary, Ph.D. specializes in work with chronically ill, dying, and bereaved clients. She has worked for the past 25 years as a psychotherapist in private practice, as a chaplain in the intensive care unit of a hospital, and as a counselor in 6 hospices across the country.

She served as the director of mental health services at an AIDS clinic, as a professor of Death Studies at George Mason University, and as a researcher at the National Cancer Institute of NIH. Lani has spoken nationally at over 250 conferences including the American Holistic Medical Association, Virginia Association of Hospices, Spirituality and Healthcare, International Sudden Infant Death Symposium, and Omega Institute of Holistic Studies. She is the author of Healing Hands, an internationally best-selling audio tape about therapeutic touch and complimentary approaches to pain management. She is certified in grief therapy, EMDR, hypnotherapy, and Critical Incident Stress Management.

WEBSITE: Dr. Lani Leary’s website:

Afterlife TV is presented by Afterlife Investigator & Psychic Medium Researcher Bob Olson, who is the author of Answers about the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life after Death.

Check out Bob Olson’s other sites: (a directory of hundreds of psychics & mediums by location with reviews & Instant Readings) & (his personal recommended list of tested psychics and mediums) or visit Bob’s Facebook Page. Bob also has a popular workshop for psychics and mediums at

Don’t miss another Afterlife TV episode. Join our email list to get new video announcements (and to download a free excerpt of Bob’s book): CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTER.

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  1. nooshin says:

    Hello Bob,

    another fascinating interview. Dr. Lani Leary is great and i enjoyed listening to her. i have one question though for her, Dr. Leary when you say no one has to die alone, we are talking only about sick people and those at hospice who know they don’t have much time left in this world, how about those who leave suddenly and unexpectedly. like when i lost my 15 1/2 year old last year suddenly and without expecting it, have the image of her being afraid and alone that time and this thought always makes me feel guilty and depressed. what’s your thought about this.
    Bob thank you again and please keep this interviews coming as we all need them. i want you to know Bob, that your work and interviews so far, has already had big impact in my life to deal with my loss. THANK YOU.


    • Bob Olson says:

      Hi Nooshin,

      Thank you for your kind words. Dr. Leary has generously invited feedback and questions, so you can email her directly at [email protected]. From my perspective, there is no right or wrong because our souls benefit from every experience we have, including our passing. Whether we die alone and quickly or surrounded by loved ones and slowly are just different experiences from which our souls learn and grow. Ultimately, the moment our spirits leave our bodies, we are at peace and surrounded by loved ones who have passed, spirit guides and souls we’ve known from other lifetimes–not to forget the love of our Source/God/Creator.

      I am sure that your son does not want you to feel guilty or depressed over the circumstances of his passing. It’s likely that his soul chose those circumstances for a reason. After having hundreds of spirit communication readings myself and witnessing thousands with other people, I can tell you that our loved ones in spirit only want us to be happy, to know that they are okay and watching over us, and to not focus negatively on what might have or could have been, because what happened very well might have been exactly what they were meant to experience for their own spiritual growth.

      I offer interviews like this one to help us do our best in the future, not to make us feel poorly about what we did or didn’t do in the past. In many cases, we are not able to do what Dr. Leary has presented, and she recognizes this as much as anyone. Life is often about learning from our past experiences to improve what we do in the future–if we even have the opportunity. And when we don’t have the opportunity, the best we can do is trust that things happened as they were meant to happen, as it serves no one’s benefit to feel guilty and depressed about things we cannot change. So be gentle with yourself, Nooshin, knowing in your heart that is what your son wants most.

      Big hug to you,

      • nooshin says:

        Dear Bob,

        Thank you so much for your warm words. i hear you. i should be working on myself to get rid of this unhealthy guilty feeling. not good for me and not good for my daughter’s spirit.

        this feeling hits me once awhile. it hit me today again, i think because today is my daughter’s birthday…. she would have been 17 this year.
        Bob, as before talking with you and reading your comment made me feel better.
        Thank you for who you are and what you’re doing.


  2. marion says:

    Hi Bob,

    watched this on facebook but for some reason I can not comment or like posts on your page. I shared this interview because it truly will help ppl who are faced with a loved one dying. I went through this with my mom and sister. It give the family time to grieve as well as helping their loved one transition over.

    thanks for all you are doing.


    • Bob Olson says:

      Hi Marion,

      Thanks for your kind comment and for taking the time to come to Afterlife TV to write it. I’m glad you liked the interview.


  3. Jennifer says:


    I really enjoyed this interview. She really had me choked up when talking about being there when her father passed. What a precious gift to be able to be there for your parent when they pass. I was present when my mom passed away from breast cancer. I was not present when my dad passed from a heart attack recently. What a difference the two play in the healing process. I really wish my father would have had an opportunity to be with loved ones when he went, but he was alone. I really believe it is part of his plan and hopefully, will make sense to me later, but right now it makes me so sick and sad to know he was alone.

    I really would like to see a follow up interview with Dr. Leary on her near death experience. She had such great information that I will definately take with me when helping or caring for my loved ones. Thanks again to both of you!

  4. Gina says:

    Hey, interesting interview, I have seen many videos on the afterlife and I think this subject needs to be studied more, there is not so much awareness on this topic. I sometimes think that mainstream science is most likely leading people to believe that nothing happens after we die and the concept of evolution make us look more like beings trying to adapt to our environment, than humans with a soul that lives forever. But there are so many testimonies of people experiencing things, that definitely there must be more awareness about our after life.



  5. Miriam Sousa says:

    Hello Bob,

    Thank you for the great work you have been doing with AfterlifeTV, it is quite helpful and inspiring all the information and interviews you share.
    Watching Dr. Leary interview reminded me about the work of the neuropsychiatrist Dr. Peter Fenwick. His work is focused on what happens to consciousness at the time of dead. “The art of dying” is a very nice talk of Dr. Fenwick. May I suggest Dr. Fenwick as one of your next guests?

    Thank you!


    • Bob Olson says:

      Hi Miriam,

      Thanks for your comment and recommendation. I’ll check out Dr. Fenwick online. I’m intrigued.


  6. priscilla says:

    like lanis 2 interviews. I have been overwhelmed wiith a nde during an emergency situation where I flatlined and went into a coma. I feel like I have post traumatic nde. thx for sharing I am in maine also and the snow has melted.

    • Bob Olson says:

      Hi Priscilla,

      Thanks for sharing. I still have snow, and it was worse when I did this interview a couple weeks ago. But it’s melting, slowly. Best wishes to you.


  7. Diane says:

    Thanks for posting this interview. I enjoyed listening to this one a lot. However, I am going through a grieving process and would like to hear an interview that is more geared toward helping grieving people understand that our loved ones do not die and that we will be reunited with them. Do you have any suggestions for videos on your site or elsewhere that deal more with the topic of helping the people left here who are still grieving, specifically from an eternalist standpoint? Thanks for any ideas and please keep up the excellent work.

    • Bob Olson says:

      Hi Diane,

      I think most of my interviews deal with that subject. Every one of my guests believe in life eternal. If you look at the descriptions of each interview (above the video), that’ll narrow it down for you. But we have many people who watch Afterlife TV who say that most of our videos discuss what you’re seeking. If you look around, you’ll find what you want. And based on what you wrote, I think you’ll like my book too ( Thanks for your comment.


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