Very Special Episode! Cheryl Richardson Joins Bob Olson to talk about the subject of his new book: creating a magical life. I’m so very excited to announce the release of my new novel, The Magic Mala. And joining me in my studio to celebrate the book’s release (and my birthday) is my dear friend, Cheryl Richardson. Cheryl’s a four-time New York Times bestselling author. And because we’re old friends, which you’ll recognize in our chemistry together, and because Cheryl is such a fabulous author and teacher, this episode is a very special treat.
Cheryl and I talk about the lessons from the book as well as the extraordinary results people are having who’ve read it. I call them “Magic Mala Moments.” What you realize while reading the book is that we’re always communicating with creative intelligence and it’s always working in our lives, whether we’re being positive or negative. The mala practice taught in my book serves as a tool to communicate to the universe what you really want in your life. You won’t believe the results.
We also discuss the kind of practices Cheryl and I use in our everyday lives that help us stay positive, grateful, and open to receiving good things in our lives. And we discuss this while having a lot of fun and laughs, and while sharing a lot of personal information about ourselves. I think you’re going to be happy you watched or listened.
As usual, all the beautiful photography on the video was taken by my wife, Melissa. I would love to know what you thought of today’s chat with Cheryl and your reactions to The Magic Mala lessons we shared. And I’m so excited for you to share your Magic Mala Moments after getting a chance to read the book (more on how to do that in an upcoming show)! ~ Bob Olson
If you’d like to watch this video, Create More Magic In Your Life! Two Authors Share Their Secrets!, visit www.afterlifetv.com/?p=2944
Afterlife TV is presented by Afterlife Investigator & Psychic Medium Researcher Bob Olson, who is the author of Answers about the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life after Death.
Check out Bob Olson’s other sites: BestPsychicDirectory.com (a directory of hundreds of psychics & mediums by location with reviews & Instant Readings) & BestPsychicMediums.com (his personal recommended list of tested psychics and mediums) or visit Bob’s Facebook Page. Bob also has a popular workshop for psychics and mediums at PsychicMediumWorkshop.com.
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Bob: Hey, everybody, Bob Olson here. Thank you for listening. Today’s gonna be a special episode because today, May 3, 2017, is the day that my book, “The Magic Mala,” is available. This is the book that I talked about a few episodes ago, where Melissa, exactly a year ago today on May third, gave me a new keyboard for my birthday. Today’s my birthday. Another good reason to celebrate this new book. But I had this new keyboard that Melissa had given me last year, and just wanted to play with the keyboard. So I started to write something and out poured this novel. I had not planned on it. There’s no way I ever could have expected it. I never would have written it in this way. It just came out of me, and I just kept writing. And it actually took me 28 days to write this book, and took me the rest of the year for editing it and getting it ready for publishing.
But I want you to know that the book is available today, right now, on Amazon, both paperback and Kindle, on Barnes and Noble, both paperback and Nook. It’s on iTunes, iBooks, and it’s also on Kobo. And all those links are on my new website, which is bobolson.com. When you go there, you’ll see that all the links to Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iBooks and Kobo exist there. Now, there will be an audio book that’s coming shortly, probably in the month of May. It just wasn’t ready, something happened. I do believe it’ll be available to you soon.
So, today’s episode is kind of special because I have a friend of mine who I think many of you will know. Her name is Cheryl Richardson. Cheryl and I, and Melissa and Cheryl’s husband have been friends for well over a decade and we get together often.
And Cheryl happened to be over the house this weekend and we were talking about, “The Magic Mala,” my new book, and I thought, “Hey, why don’t we take this conversation downstairs into the studio and we’ll just record it? And then the audience can sort of be a fly on the wall, listening to this conversation.” And I think it really turned out great. I think there’s a lot of interesting and educational information that you’re going to love. Now, I just want to give Cheryl a little bit of an introduction here because when we came downstairs, you know, I just introduced her by name. But for those of you who don’t know her, she is a New York Times bestselling author of several books, “Take Time for Your Life, “Life Makeovers,” “Stand Up for Your Life,” “The Unmistakable Touch of Grace,” “The Art of Extreme Self-Care,” and her book with Louise Hay called, “You Can Create an Exceptional Life.” You can find out more about her at cherylrichardson.com. So I’m gonna get started with the conversation. Here we go. Thanks again for listening.
Hey, everybody, Bob Olson here. I’m sitting with my friend, Cheryl Richardson. She is over to have dinner with Melissa and I, and we were just having a great conversation about my new book, “The Magic Mala.” And I thought, “Hey, Cheryl, what do you say we just go downstairs and record this conversation as we’re having it?” So, welcome, Cheryl. Thanks for joining me.
Cheryl: I’m so glad to be here. Thanks, Bob. But what the listeners don’t know is just before we started recording, Bob got all the equipment set up and everything, and I was sitting here and I was waiting. And he said, “Okay, let’s get started,” and he hit “Start,” and he goes, “Hey! This is Bob,” and he scared me. And I jumped out of my chair. We ended up laughing so much that we had to do the recording over again.
Bob: Usually when I start off, I kind of start off loud. My voice is kind of loud anyway. So, sorry I scared the heck out of you. But here we are. By the time everybody hears this, the book is going to be available and everybody can read it. And I’m so excited to share it with everyone. You were one of the very first people to read it and you helped me with much of the editing. I’m grateful for you for that. And you’re such a big part of it that I’m glad you can join me in this conversation.
Cheryl: Well, I’m so happy to be having the conversation with you, and I remember when I first…I read the first draft like way in the beginning. And I remember you talking about how… Well, I remember suddenly you were working on a project. I didn’t know what the project was, but you were sort of sequestered for a couple of months. You know, we’d see each other every now and then, but there was like this project. And you know, being a writer myself, I respected the fact that, “Okay, don’t… Hold the energy. Don’t disperse the energy by talking about it until you’re ready.”
And then all of a sudden you’ve got this novel and you’re like, “Hey, you want to read this novel that I’ve written called, ‘The Magic Mala’?” And I thought, “Okay, wow.” That’s sort of like saying, “Hi. While you were gone, I had a baby. Would you like to meet my baby?”
Bob: Exactly. Well, that was the thing. You know, I had talked about this early in one of the Afterlife TV episodes that I did, so some of my audience knows this. But I had been gone away for a while, like I hadn’t done a show in a while. And I explained how this happened. I was not intending to write a book. You know, it just sort of came very unexpectedly and it was just…it was kind of like that, you know, with the baby metaphor because I just was writing just to play around. And the next thing I knew, there was a book sort of pouring through me and out popped this.
The interesting thing is I don’t really even take that much credit for writing it. It feels as though it was inspired writing. You know, a good friend of mine who’s a channel by profession said it’s not really channeling, and I think a lot of us mix that phrase up. But it was inspired. In other words, it came through us and it’s not as though I’m repeating something that’s being told to me. Because he does channel write and that’s the way he writes books. He writes a book in two weeks. But for me, it took only about a month, which is crazy for me to do that. Of course, it takes a lot longer editing, as you know. And anybody who’s out there who’s an author does that. But this book just came unexpectedly, poured through me. I didn’t plan it and outline it and all that, and yet, I still think something magical came out of me.
Cheryl: Yeah. I mean, when I read the book… So, you should tell people a little bit about what the story is about. I mean, I can do that but I’d be curious to hear what you say first.
Bob: No, please go ahead.
Cheryl: Well, so it’s a story about…I was gonna say a young man because everybody these days seems [inaudible 00:06:45] young man, and his wife, who I think represent a lot of people who are struggling to make ends meet and are just living their lives and trying to improve their lives.
You know, he’s Robbie, who’s the main character, he’s very responsible and he’s trying to make a better life for him and his wife. And he sort of gets…what do they say, falls down on his luck or gets down on his luck. You know, things kind of go to hell in a handbasket for him, and he’s a bit fed up and questioning life and looking for something to blame or someone to blame or just feeling frustrated with how things aren’t working and stumbles upon… Well, I don’t want to give too much away but he stumbles…let’s just say he stumbles upon this mala beads, this set of mala beads, these prayer beads, you know, the 108 beads. And it sort of takes him on this journey where he learns through the practice of these beads where they came from, who owned them and who was using them before him, how to use them, and how to… And it really opens the door to understanding the power of intention, as Wayne Dyer would say, right, in one of his books, “The Power of Intention,” and how to, in a very practical way, begin to change the course…he changes the course of his life through the power of prayer and using these mala beads. And not only that but it influences so many people in his life.
I remember when I first read it, it reminded me of how I felt when I read Dan Millman’s book.
Bob: Oh, “Way of the Peaceful Warrior.”
Cheryl: The “Way of the Peaceful Warrior,” yeah, where it was this beautiful… You know, one of the things I love about your writing, Bob, I’ve always said this to you for years, is you always remind me, I always think about… I’m gonna date myself for some of the listeners, but the old Reader’s Digest stories. They would always have real life drama and they would have these different teaching stories, is how I saw them. And your writing is like that. It’s this beautiful, simple teaching stories that you write. And so when I was reading this book, I thought, “Wow, it reminds me of the way ‘The Peaceful Warrior,’ in that you just didn’t know what was gonna happen next but you were taking this journey with the lead character, the main character, and every single chapter he got clearer and clearer about who he was, what he really wanted, what really mattered and how to go about making that happen in his life.”
So, I read the book. The thing I loved about it is, you know, I’ve been in this field a long time and I have plenty of sets of malas at home and I’m a big believer in prayer and intention. You know, I’ve written books about that. And as I was reading the book, I’m like, “Damn, I have to get my malas out. Damn, I haven’t been using them the way that Robbie uses them in the book, and I used to do that all the time.” It’s so easy, we can know what we need to do then we fall out of practice.
And so, sure enough, I started… And I actually had a couple of sets of malas made for me, inspired by reading the book, and started reusing… As a matter of fact, let me just say that I just recently had a retreat. I do retreats twice a year, and women come from all over the country and different parts of the world too to fly in for the retreat. And I made a decision, inspired by the book, to use the mala. And for a month, before the retreat, every single morning, it was a 108 bead mala, every morning and every night, so when I woke up in the morning before I get out of bed and at night before I fell asleep, I would go through the mala, just affirming…
You know, I’m deeply grateful for a successful retreat filled with wonderful women where we have life-changing experiences. I literally just said that 108 times, every morning and every night. And I have to say, out of pretty much every retreat I’ve held, and they’ve all been great and magical, this is probably the most fulfilling, powerful retreat I’ve ever had.
Bob: Wow.
Cheryl: And I know it’s directly related to the way I used this mala to direct the energy of my intention for this event. And everybody said at the end of the event, they were like, “My God, this has been life-changing for me.” And I’m thinking, “Yeah, it’s been life-changing for me too,” and I led the thing.
Bob: Yeah. This is what is exciting to me about the story. And again, I say that… You know, my ego wants to say I say that because I don’t really feel as though I wrote the book. I know I did, but… And a lot of my story is in that story. But I say it because I’ve seen, you know, the handful or couple handfuls of people that I’ve shared the book with, similar stories like that happening. We’re now calling them Magic Mala moments, you know, because people are having these amazing, I mean, just extraordinary results after reading them.
And they’re also very different. You know, I had one guy who tried to get into a talent agency two years ago. He read this book, he got himself some mala beads. And 45 minutes after he did his mala beads practice, what I call a mala beads practice, he went through the 108 beads with an intention that he had set and was just repeating this mantra over and over for every bead. Forty-five minutes later, this talent agency that had turned him down two years prior called out of the blue to ask if he wanted to be represented by them. That was just, you know, one example of many.
I had my 13-year-old nephew who I asked to read it because I wasn’t sure if someone his age could understand it, and I wanted to find out. Well, even he at his age loved the book and grabbed his mother’s mala beads, which I had given to her a few years prior. And he was going to this summer camp and there was 200 kids going there. And he had been the year before and he only knew one kid that was coming from the year before, and he wanted that kid to be his roommate. But the roommates were chosen randomly. So he used his mala beads in the same way that you just described. And when he showed up there, his roommate was that one kid that he wanted. And it’s these kinds of what we call Magic Mala moments now that are currently occurring.
And the reason I think it happens is… And if you get nothing more out of the book than this, and I think there’s a lot more there, but that we’re constantly communicating with a creative intelligence that exists out there. Call it your higher power, your spirit guides, the universe, God. It doesn’t matter what you even label it, the fact is I believe that we’re always communicating with that power. And so what happens for many of us, and I happen to be one of those people, very naturally to me, at least before I ever found my first set of mala beads, was I would complain about my life. I would worry about things and I would talk to Melissa or my friends about those things I was worried about. And I was constantly communicating about the negativity in my life. And never did I take the time to express my gratitude about the blessings in my life. Never did I take the time to talk about what I was excited about for the future.
I was always really in the moment thinking about what I was worried about or complaining about. And the mala beads taught me to do the opposite, to take something that I either wanted to happen or that I was grateful that it already happened, and think about that just for ten minutes. How long does it take you to go through 108 beads? Ten or 15 minutes at the most. And I think that’s what it does, it serves as a tool. If nothing more, it serves as a tool for us to then express to our higher power, God, the universe, what it is that we want, in a very positive way, with great expectations that it will happen, or what it is that we’re grateful for that has already taken place and is in our life. And that is what I think is so magical about this practice of doing that.
Cheryl: Well, and I remember you telling me…I don’t even know how long ago it was, but when you told me about how you would take a walk every day and you’d take the mala… Like, how long ago did you start doing that?
Bob: In 2005 I got my first mala beads.
Cheryl: No kidding.
Bob: And twice a day I would take a walk with my dog Libby. I would take my mala beads with me. And because we were either out in the woods or we were on this road that was a dead end road, and really, there was nobody else around, and I could very easily and without feeling self-conscious carry my beads and go from one bead to the next about whatever it is that I wanted to use as my intention and use as my mantra.
Well, I came up with this one particular practice. And mine was I would just say…for every bead, I would say, “Thank you for the blessings,” and I would think of a blessing in my life. And that allowed me to think of 108 blessings. Every time I took a walk with Libby, 108 blessings in my life. It didn’t matter how big or how small they were. And for me to be able to do that and express to the universe, “This is what I love in my life, and I’m so grateful for it,” it changed my life. This was 2005. It just changed my life.
Cheryl: Well, yeah, I remember you telling me that story and I remember thinking how… First of all, I remember thinking how funny it is that… You know, we can have people that we’re so close to. Because we’re pretty close. I mean, we’ve been friends a long time. And we can have people that we’re really close to and they can have these practices that we just don’t even know about. I can think about my dad. I lost my dad a few months ago. And one of the things he told me before he died, and I’m so glad he told me this, was having a hard time sleeping. And I was saying to him, “Well, Dad, you know, you could do a gratitude practice.” And he said, “Oh, well, no. What I do when I’m having a hard time sleeping is I start praying for all of my family members.” And my dad was an accountant, right, so he said, “I started praying for you, and your sisters and brothers and mom, and then all of your spouses. And then I’d go to all of the grandchildren.” And he’s like, “And then I go through all of my clients, my former clients, their families.”
So he starts to go through this list and he says to me, “And at the end, by the time I’m done I’ve prayed for 112 people,” he told me. And I said, “No kidding, Dad. I had no idea.” And he said that had been his ritual for 10 years. And I thought of you when he told me that. I thought, “This is like Bob’s mala practice.” And of course then I started doing that. I mean, I’ve been doing gratitude lists on Twitter and on Instagram now for a couple of years. Every single night, I just list five things. And part of the reason I do that is because then… And I invite other people to do it too. And suddenly I start seeing other people’s lists, which is awesome because then you realize, “Oh my God, I’m grateful for that too,” or, “Yeah, I didn’t even think of that.” So when you told me that, I started using my malas. And I loved, you know, thank you for the blessing of whatever it is.
Bob: Yeah. Yeah.
Cheryl: And I loved doing that. And you know, I don’t even think you and I do it because we are trying to…it’s not a means to an end, like, you know, “Then I want more.” You just realize that when you start to fill your heart and your life and your head with the things you’re grateful for, just like you said, you’re maintaining the right energetic state. I remember Louise Hay saying to me, “You know, Cheryl, people who complain just keep getting more to complain about. And it’s because their complaints chronically are putting out this energy of whatever it is they’re unhappy about and then they just draw more of it to them.”
I mean, the other thing, if we could bring a little science into this, when I think about “The Magic Mala,” is all of us… I mean, if we go back and look at people like Bruce Lipton or Joe Dispenza, who talk about how so much of the choices and decisions we make in present day life are based on subconscious material installed in the brain between conception and the age of five or six. Which is kind of scary when you think about it, right?
Bob: Right.
Cheryl: So, this practice of gratitude, this practice of using the mala to reinforce an intention that you have for yourself or your loved ones, what it’s doing is it’s actually creating new neural pathways in the brain. Like, we now know that. This is not woo woo. It’s not new age. There are neural pathways in the brain, well-grooved tracks that we all have and that we all fall victim to because of worrying and complaining and blaming, which is just a practice that so many of us get into, myself included. I catch myself all the time.
And what I found is as the book reminded me to start using the mala, I know that not only am I creating, and science knows this, not only am I creating new neural pathways that are more supportive, but as these new pathways get built, the old pathways weaken and eventually the connections sever. I mean, they just dissipate and these new grooves have formed. I mean, that was one of the things that inspired me so much. As I was reading the story and I was watching Robbie’s life suddenly start to very slowly transform, and then his wife and his dad and the different people that come in and out of his life, what happens is everybody either gets on board or supports him in getting on board. You realize he’s not the same person by the end of the book.
Bob: Right.
Cheryl: He’s completely rewired his brain, and therefore, this creative muscle that dances with the universe and as a result just creates this physical reality from this new framework that he’s created in his brain.
Bob: It reminds me of Tony Robbins, first couple of books that came out I don’t know how long ago. It must have been in the ’80s that those came out because Melissa gave me, I think, “Awaken the Giant Within,” as a wedding gift.
Cheryl: “Unlimited Power” was before “Awaken the Giant Within,” I think, and that was a very powerful book.
Bob: But he was talking about the same thing, and these neural pathways. The other aspect of it that I love, which is in addition to that and really kind of what you’re saying, but also maybe a third thing that I won’t get into, but is the quantum physics aspect of all this, which is really where science is just proving all this. So what you said early on, which is this is not a manipulative technique. This isn’t a technique that you express your gratitude or even feel gratitude toward anything as a manipulation to make something happen. That’s not the idea. The idea of it is really changing… We all vibrate at a certain frequency and we want to keep our energy up. And one of the best ways to keep our energy up is to think of those things that we feel grateful for. And by doing that, we now become a magnet for things that match that frequency. It’s really that simple, is what it comes down to.
But it’s not a manipulation. You can’t do it. If you’re trying to do it as a manipulation, it lowers your energy. But when you’re really just thinking about those things that you’re grateful for in your life, you feel love, is really what you feel.
Cheryl: Well, yeah. And can I say that you’re making a really important point, which is the powerful force of creation comes from a strong emotional state. So every night when I do a gratitude list, I can have a crappy day or like not a good afternoon, but when I’m laying in bed and I’m thinking about, really thinking about, “What am I grateful for today?” I feel the gratitude, I feel the shift in my energy. And when I’m affirming…
I’m telling you but when I was affirming about the retreat that I did, by the time I got to the last week before the retreat, I felt such love. Every time I touched a bead and I said, “I am deeply grateful for a fulfilling, a successful retreat filled with wonderful women where we all have life-changing experiences,” I felt like I already knew the women who were coming, I was already in a relationship with them, I loved them and cared for them, and I couldn’t wait for us to all hang out together. And as a matter of fact, it was the first time ever that I started the retreat by saying to this group of women who I’d never met before, I said to them, “Here’s what I want for you this weekend. I want you to feel loved. I want you to feel seen. I want you to feel heard. I want you to know that you’ll matter and I want you to know that I’m here to serve in any way I can to help take away the pain and the suffering that’s going on so that you feel better, so that you can create a better life.”
And I know I created a different kind of neural network around my preparation for this event, because I did feel the love you’re talking about. Any time we feel strong emotions – Tony Robbins has talked about this forever – you create a powerful emotional state and you start locking in that…those grooves get well routed out because of these strong, powerful emotions we feel. Unfortunately, most of us feel really pissed off or really frustrated or really angry or upset with ourselves, upset with other people, and that we have so much depleted shame. We’re so used to feeling a lot of strong negative emotions, that those are the pathways we keep giving power to.
Bob: One of the things that the internet has really helped me to do is prove to myself that this works.
Cheryl: I love it. I love it. Yeah, go ahead.
Bob: So I’ll give you an example. I’ll give you two examples. The simple one is… I think this is the first time it ever happened. I was talking about something with Melissa and it was about… I used to write about depression. And it was about talking about depression. And I hadn’t written anything or talked about anything in relation to that for a long time. And Melissa and I had this very deep meaningful conversation about it. And sure enough the next day, I had emails come in from people who suddenly had questions for me about depression, because I used to write about it years prior. That was my first clue.
The second clue was more on a negative side. I had something on one…an old website. I don’t have it anymore, but I had something on a little website that I happened to catch and I recognized the wording of it could had been mistaken, someone could misread what I said in a negative way. And I was thinking about changing it, but I couldn’t do it right then. And in fact, I ended up…Melissa and I ended up at your house and we had some other friends there. And it was you and somebody else and Melissa. I just remember there was three of you, and there was me, talking about this thing that I was worried people were gonna misread.
Cheryl: I’m kind of remembering. We were in the dining room table.
Bob: Yeah.
Cheryl: Yeah, I remember. Yeah, yeah, okay.
Bob: And nobody had ever… This had been up for years. This website, this copy had been up for years. Nobody ever sent an email about it, said anything about it. But all of a sudden this day, I got locked onto it. I got worried about it, worried.
Cheryl: And we had a very intense conversation about it, right?
Bob: And you three were telling me, “There’s nothing to worry about.” You were arguing why I shouldn’t have to worry about this.
Cheryl: Why you needed to let go of the [inaudible 00:26:19].
Bob: I was doing the opposite. I was sitting there making the argument about why I needed to worry about this. And the very next morning – this was a Saturday night – then Sunday morning, I had an email from a woman who had read it, misunderstood it, and was actually angry with me because of her misunderstanding and error. But talk about that’s not hugely powerful, in my face right there.
Cheryl: So you and I are huge fans of Richard Bach. Jonathan Livingston Seagull and all of his other great books that I love. And, you know, I understand actually he’s a fan of you, because I follow him on his blog, and when your book, “Answers about the Afterlife,” came out, he wrote something in his blog about that. Very sweet. And I thought, “I’m kind of jealous because [inaudible 00:27:07].”
Bob: Richard Bach.
Cheryl: Richard Bach. I’m kidding. I love you and I was so happy.
Bob: No, I know.
Cheryl: Well, I’m not kidding. There was a part of me that was jealous, but mostly I was just so happy for you. But anyway, I love his…I’ve loved his work for many, many years. In one of my books, I think it was, “Stand Up for Your Life,” I talked about this little exercise that he gave an audience during the workshops. I had listened to an audio of one of his workshops where he said, “Look, if you think this whole thing about you create your reality is BS…” I’m paraphrasing. He didn’t literally say this, but this is my interpretation of it, was if you think this whole thing about creating your reality is BS, then just try this. Pick an image, allow some image to come to mind. Anything at all. It could be random. And when I heard this, I imagined a big, plump, red tomato.
I was listening to the audio in my car, so I thought… I just saw this tomato. And he said, “Just see the image in your mind and let it go. And every now and then during the day, just think about the image and just see it in your mind but don’t work too hard. Don’t visualize the tomato like intensely, but just then let it go, and start to notice how long it takes for that image to show up in your life.” So I’m driving in the car. I’m imagining a big, plump, red, juicy tomato. Random image. And about 45 minutes into my drive, I was on the highway, and this giant truck pulls up next to me with a big, plump, red tomato on the side. And I thought, “Okay, that was about 45 minutes.” And I used to give that exercise to people.
So it’s exactly what we’re talking about. And for him, in that exercise, there’s not a lot of emotional attachment to it. I remember that day, that you were at the house. You were very… I remember I got so plugged in. I was trying to convince you not to worry. And the harder I fought, the harder you fought back. And then I remember you calling the next day and saying, “You’re not gonna believe what happened. I got this email.”
Bob: And email has done this for me over the years. Those are just two examples. That was an extreme example. But it helped to prove me, it helped to train me about what I focus upon expands. And that’s what “The Magic Mala” is all about in a way. Again, at its very essence, what we focus upon expands. Now when I get focused, like unconsciously, about something in the negative, something that I’m worried about especially, I immediately know I have to change that.
Cheryl: That’s right. Me too.
Bob: I’ll go, I’ll call somebody up that I know is positive. I might call you up, or I’ll walk in, I’ll find Melissa in the house somewhere and I’ll be, “Look, we just gotta talk about something else.” And I have to change where I’m at emotionally into a better place. Now, we can do that a million ways, and the book talks about it. We can listen to music, we can go for a walk in nature, whatever it may be. There’s lots of ways that we can change that. It’s a lot easier than it sounds, but it’s about being conscious.
Cheryl: Well, I was gonna say…I mean, that’s evolution, right? I do the exact same thing. I know if I get up and I stub my toe and I’m like, “Damn!” and all of a sudden I go into the bathroom and I go to brush my teeth and I’m out of toothpaste and I forgot to buy some and I’m like, “Ugh, I can’t believe…” I know by like the third thing, “You better stop and do something to shift your energy or your whole day’s going in this direction.” And it’s that self-awareness that makes a huge difference. And I think that part of what happened, as I started to use my mala as a more intentional practice after reading the book, I found myself wanting to go to that object, this mala, because I’m a big believer in energy. I live my life from an energetic perspective.
Part of the reason I think the internet and email and all of that respond so quickly and effectively to our thinking is because it’s energy. We’re talking about electricity and energy, and it’s like a giant neural network and it just picks up on… I mean, in some ways, we could have a whole conversation about technology, right, and where we’re…how our outer technology, this hundreds and hundreds, hundreds of thousands of computers that are all networked together is just really an out-picturing of what’s going on in the brain with the neural networks.
I think that’s part of the reason why we get such quick and effective mirroring back from electronics, is because of the energy. What I want to say is that I found myself, after doing the…at the practice both of gratitude with the mala beads and then with the retreat and everything, that if I was having those experiences of going down the wrong track with the negative thinking, I wanted to go to the mala. I would just go pick it up. And I would just start like, “What am I grateful for?” I have one in my bathroom. I have one next to the bed. I mean, that’s one of the things I really loved about the book, is it gives you a very practical way. It gives you a practical method for reprogramming your thinking, and then it also inspires you based on what happens with the story, how his life turns around.
Bob: Yeah, exactly. It teaches you that. Two things I’ll just add to that, is I think one of the reasons the internet and email and stuff like that works so well is because energy is spaceless. It’s limitless in terms of space and time. You know, the great thing is if I’m putting something out there and somebody from England or Australia then emails me based on it, it shows us the power of energy to just reach somebody across the world, right?
But getting back to the mala and the story, one of the great things that people are gonna enjoy about the main character, Robbie, is I think a lot of people are gonna be able to relate to him. And Robbie, in a sense…it’s not word for word, obviously, but I’m Robbie. And so when I first found my mala, wherever I was emotionally, intellectually, energetically back in 2005, that’s Robbie in the story. And I can be stubborn and I can be…
Cheryl: No. Really? No way.
Bob: I don’t know, someone might have said that once.
Cheryl: I can’t imagine them saying that.
Bob: And I can be skepticable [SP]. Skepticable, that’s good. I should stop drinking when I do these shows. No, I’m just kidding. I’m drinking coffee. I could be skeptical, and my audience knows that. But that’s the thing, is Robbie was down on his luck. That’s the whole point, he’s down on his luck. And it’s times like that when all of us open our minds to new possibilities because we go, “I might be skeptical about this but my way is not working.” So I’m open minded to anything.
Cheryl: Right. Well, and I think about you’ve created a whole body of work based on your skepticism.
Bob: Yeah.
Cheryl: And I think just the fact that we’re in human bodies just invites skepticism. I remember once having a conversation with Brian Weiss, who’s also a big fan of yours, and I remember saying to him, “So, Brian, do you really never worry about death anymore?” He’s like, “Are you kidding me? I’m a human being. As much as I do this work and I believe we live many lifetimes, I forget too and I have to be reminded.”
Bob: We’re all skeptical about certain things. And in my energy, some days I tell Melissa, “My inner Robbie is coming out.” And Melissa kind of looks at me cross-eyed like, “Do you realize what you just said? Do you realize what you’re doing here?” And I’ll go, “That was my inner Robbie, I’m sorry. I’ll get back on track.”
Cheryl: I love that.
Bob: We got a whole new lingo thanks to this book. But, you know, the point of the book is not that I’m the wise person. I’m not. I’m Robbie. I have some wisdom that I’ve learned, and it’s gonna be the rest of my life where I’m trying to integrate the wisdom that I know into what I actually live and do.
Cheryl: Well, and I think that’s why…I mean, it’s one of the first things I said to you after I read the book. I said to you, “Oh, my God.” I mean, you know, I’m pretty wise. I’ve been around a long time. I’ve studied, I’ve read plenty of books, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that my thinking influences my physical reality. I mean, I live and breathe this stuff, and I forget too. And I’m skeptical too. And that’s why when I read the book, I was like, “Oh, my God, I can’t believe it. I’ve gotta pick up my malas and get back into business.” I wanted to ask you, like, do you remember how you came across your first mala in 2005? I was wondering.
Bob: Melissa bought it for me. We have a friend who’s a good friend of mine now but I didn’t know her at the time, and she was doing this thing at home where she had bought this CD set by somebody. I know it’s from Sounds True, and it was all about working with the mala. It was all about mala beads and working with the mala. So she had quite a good group of people who were meeting once a week and they were just listening to these CDs and then talking about them together. And I was invited but it just wasn’t my thing. I wasn’t interested. But because Melissa was going through this and then she was telling me all about what she was learning, she actually bought me my first mala beads.
Cheryl: Oh, okay. What kind of beads were they? Do you know?
Bob: Yeah, they were the lapis lazuli, which is the same as Robbie. And I still have it to this day. Well, actually, I have my second version of them because my first one broke and the beads went everywhere. I was in the woods with Libby. I got some of them but I didn’t get them all, so she bought me my second set, the same exact thing. But that was how I got started, was thanks to Melissa, she taught me how to use them. I think this happens with a lot of things, and I think it’s based in religion, be honest with you. But there’s this sort of thing where you can do a 40-day practice. I think there’s a 40-day religious roots to that whole 40-day practice. Which is fine with me. Great.
So I started this 40-day practice, much like you describe. I did it in the morning and I did it in the night. In those first 40 days my life turned right around, like 180 degrees. I was facing in a different direction by the time… And I just never stopped. I still have not stopped to this day.
Cheryl: You know, I’m just remembering, I think the first set of mala beads I ever received was when I was in my early twenty’s.
Bob: Wow. No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…
Cheryl: Thanks, Bob. Hold on while I just slit my wrists. It was in my early twenty’s. Many, many decades ago.
Bob: The old days.
Cheryl: In the old days, back in the ancient days. My brother was dating this…
Bob: Adam? Was it Adam? Eve? No, never mind. I’m sorry.
Cheryl: Hold on. Everybody’s gonna hear this. There, I’m throwing something at him. No, my brother was dating…was seeing this…he had a girlfriend. My younger brother Bob had a girlfriend whose family had gone to India. I forget why they had some…it might have been a business trip for her dad. He worked for a company that they traveled around the world. And when she came back, she brought me a prayer rug and a set of those wooden, sandalwood mala beads. And I loved the smell of them. I just remember I kept them with me all the time. I didn’t know what the hell they were, I didn’t know what you were supposed to do with them. I knew they were prayer beads. And I just kept them around me all the time and I just loved the smell of them. And I actually still have them somewhere.
Bob: Do you really?
Cheryl: Yeah, I’m sure I do. And since then, I have…you know, I like to give mala beads as gifts. Debbie Ford used to give me…I have a set of beads from her that she gave me that I love, that I keep with me. Anyway, it’s…
Bob: You never forget your first mala beads.
Cheryl: You never forget, yeah. Even when it is back in the ancient days, exactly.
Bob: That’s awesome.
Cheryl: So, anyway, I was thinking too, when we were talking about the book. You know, I have this little practice before I give speeches, especially if I’m nervous in any way. I’ve learned that the quickest way to overcome my nervousness about teaching or speaking, especially even if I’m doing media or doing an interview and I’m feeling anxiety, which I always do – I mean, I just think it’s normal – I like to remind myself to take the focus off of me and put it on the people who are listening. And I specifically in my head imagine the life scenarios that are going on in the audience that I’m gonna be able to support.
So, for example, if I’m giving a speech about taking time for your life, let’s say, then I will think about…I will know that there are people in the audience who are juggling raising kids, full time job, and dealing…you know, trying to support an aging parent or a sick loved one. Or I’ll imagine a business owner who’s like literally suffering under the stress of success, or somebody who’s out of work and is desperate to find a job. So, suddenly, I can really get into that empathic compassionate place of, “Oh, this isn’t about me and my nervousness. I’m here to serve. And something I say is gonna make a difference in the lives of at least…” You know, my prayer is always please let me touch the life of at least one person in the audience so that they’re changed forever and that life gets better for them.
So I think about the people who would be reading this, before they would read it, and I just…you know, I think about, “What are some of the scenarios?” Because I know with your book, “Answers About the Afterlife,” I mean, I know just from giving that book out when people are grieving, the way it just touches people’s lives in really powerful ways. Like people are like, “Oh my God, I’m hanging on to this thing day and night because my son killed himself,” or “My dad died and I’m trying to make sense out of this.” And so, I wonder about who you think about when you’re… I know you say that Robbie was you and you understand Robbie, but I wonder about who you thought about when you were writing it, or when you finished it.
Bob: Yeah. One of the things that “The Magic Mala” teaches is that this isn’t just about material gain. This can be about health, it can be about relationships, it can be about self-love, it can be about so many different things. But the great thing about material gain, or just break it down to money, is that, first of all, there’s a lot of people who could use more money in their life. But if you can use what’s taught in this book to turn that around for yourself, then you recognize… Because it’s one of the easiest things to actually do, as hard as it may sound.
Cheryl: I was gonna say, there’s people listening going, “Oh really? Easy for you to say, right?”
Bob: Well, I mean, you just give it a try. Do a 40-day practice. You know, do it twice a day and then you see. And you might not have… I certainly didn’t, after the 40 days, I didn’t master it. I had such such great, extraordinary success with it that I knew I was going to do it again. I think I immediately started another 40-day practice.
Cheryl: I would have.
Bob: Who wouldn’t? But once you get to the point where you recognize you can do this for money, to bring more abundance into your life, whatever that may look like or however you want that to look, once you can do it with that then you can do it for your health, you can do it to attract a new romance into your life or to improve the relationships between you and your siblings or family members or spouse or whoever that may be. There’s so many benefits, because all it is is about thinking about how we would like something to improve in our life. And then focusing on that in a very positive way, “This is how I want it to look,” and that’s us telling… I’ll just use the phrase “the universe.” That’s us telling the universe, “This is how I would like it to look.” And we do that for ten minutes in the morning, ten minutes in the evening, for 40 days, and just tell me you don’t have more tomatoes showing up beside your car. Right? That’s what happens. But I use monetary as a great way to start for people because it’s a litmus test for it.
Cheryl: When you think of like the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, right, we all start someplace, and money is what helps us to put food in our mouths and a roof over our heads. And so when you’re really struggling, and God knows I remember what that was like, and I know you do too, so it is a great way to begin. And ultimately, what I hear you saying is, the bigger picture is it’s really about taking charge of your mind, beginning to manage your own mind instead of allowing this thing up here in our brain, or wherever it is…but, you know, instead of allowing the brain to run our lives, we take charge of our lives and we start determining.
And it influences everything. I mean, we now know if… I mean, gosh, look at the research that’s coming out about gratitude and the way it supports the immune system and it floods the body with feel-good chemicals. It lowers cortisol in the body. It makes powerful, positive physiological changes in and of itself. And so, that’s like to me the bigger picture here, is, “Oh, I’m not gonna be a victim to a mindless ranting crazy person in my head. I’m actually gonna take charge of this creative force I have and I’m gonna…one of the ways I’m gonna do it is by being inspired and using the mala as a form of practice.”
Bob: It gives us a sense of control, but I think it actually gives us some control over our world.
Cheryl: I agree.
Bob: Maybe not the world, our world, our experience in the world. I’ll tell you a quick story about that. Melissa and I went to see one of our nephews play hockey. It was about an hour and a half, two hours away, so we decided to stay overnight. And we stayed overnight where all the young hockey players who’s ten, eleven maybe now. All the young hockey players were staying in this hotel. Anyways, we showed up. And we do practice this stuff on a daily basis, so…and it showed in that weekend, and that’s the example I’m trying to give.
We go there and all kinds of chaos broke out in this hotel overnight. The kids were playing, having fun, and they were disturbing people. And a lot of the people who were there not for the hockey were upset and they were complaining. And then this one particular man came out. I only hear about these stories. But he came out and he was really upset and he went downstairs and he started screaming and yelling at the parents. And then he wanted to blame the coach. Somehow it was his fault now. And he went after the coach. And it became this big problem, this big thing.
So Melissa and I wake up the next morning and our nephew comes in and he’s telling us all these stories. And we verified them with his mother and they’re all true. Melissa and I, our entire experience was awesome. We had a great time at this hotel.
Cheryl: I was gonna say, first of all, I can’t believe you chose that hotel to stay at. I would have been like, “Oh, my lord.” But you had a different experience.
Bob: So you can live in chaos or amongst the chaos, but it doesn’t have to be part of your life. So this is sort of an underlying theme to taking control over your life in the ways that we’ve been talking this whole time, is that there can be chaos in the world and it doesn’t actually have to be your experience. You can live in your own little world, literally, and chaos can be all around you, but everything can be peaceful and…what’s the word? Flowing and beautiful in your little world. And part of it has to do with I believe that when we change our energy in the way that we’ve been talking, I believe that it insulates us from these other things because we’re… Melissa and I were so close to the chaos but we weren’t a part of it because our energy was vibrating at a different frequency. Now, if [inaudible 00:47:24] on a different day, I might have. I’m not like this every day, but that particular weekend we were feeling great.
Cheryl: You were in the flow.
Bob: We were in the flow. And that is a great example of how this works. So, “The Magic Mala” and everything that it teaches is a way of us to try to take control over our lives, to make it a more beautiful existence.
Cheryl: Well, I am so excited for you and I’m really excited for people too to be able to be inspired by the story, pick up a set of malas. Are you gonna be having malas on your website? I know you had talked about that at one point.
Bob: Yes, on bobolson.com. We have a couple places. We’ll add more. We have a couple places now where…
Cheryl: So you did find?
Bob: Yeah, where we’re leading people to buy some malas. As the list grows, we’ll just add them.
Cheryl: You mean you’re not gonna make them?
Bob: I wanted to. I really did want to. Maybe I will some time, but there was so much to do to get this book out there. Right now I still have a course that I wanted to be done for… Look, one guy can only do so much. I wanted people to be able to extend their information from the book and be able to learn more about these things. So I created “The Magic Mala” course. But the same thing. It’s not done yet. It will be very soon. This is just one of the experiences I’m having. We have an audio book coming out. And again, it’s not gonna be available when all the other versions of the book are available. That’s okay.
Cheryl: You know, there’s an old saying somebody told me many, many years ago when I was trying to get one of my books done, and they said, “You know, a book has its own birth date. And you can’t get in the way of that. All you need to do is just put one foot in front of the other, keep writing, editing, doing whatever you need to do. And when the book is supposed to be out in the world, it’ll be out in the world.” And I know what it was. My first book’s pub date got pushed. It was supposed to be published in like October and it got pushed to January, and I was so upset. And it was my mother. I called my mother. I’m just remembering this. My mother’s really intuitive. And I called her and I was upset. It was my first book. You know, I was all planned for it to come out in the fall.
And I was saying to her, “I can’t believe it. They’ve pushed the book to January.” She said to me, “Cheryl, January’s when this book is supposed to come out,” and I said, “Well, how do you know?” And she said, “I just know. And you need to stop whining and crying about this change. I mean, have your feelings about it but you’ve got about ten minutes and then you need to get on board and recognize every book has its birth date, and your book’s birth date is January.” And she was absolutely right on. And so, you know, you’ll get the course done when you’re… But I think it’s great. So are you gonna, like, create a course where people can start with certain needs that they have and then use the process and to kind of…?
Bob: Yeah, it’s a toolbox in itself but it takes everything very slowly, breaks it down and gives people more tools. And so by the time they finish with it, they’ll know how they can master it for themselves.
Cheryl: And they’ll be able to see some measurable results in their own life because they’ll be practicing it. That’ll be fun. That’s an interesting way for you to begin to document some of those…what did you call it?
Together: Magic Mala moments.
Cheryl: To document some of those stories. That’s a great idea, yeah.
Bob: Yeah, I’m looking forward to hearing it. And I hope anybody will email us or comment and let us know about their Magic Mala moments after they read the book.
Cheryl: Yeah, because I love how you’re doing now on the Afterlife TV podcast. I’ve been listening to those.
Bob: Have you?
Cheryl: Yeah, I listen to you. It’s funny, we’re like family, so you’re sort of surprised, like, “Really? You’re listening to me?”
Bob: [inaudible 00:50:59].
Cheryl: Yeah. And I love Melissa. I love that she’s doing…she’s a great addition with you. I love the two of you. You have great chemistry together. Obviously, you’ve been married a long time. But I love those stories about what happens…you know, how people connect with their loved ones after their pass. So comforting and inspiring.
Bob: It’s really nice to be able to share our audience with the audience. It’s a big family and they have such amazing experiences.
Cheryl: This will be a nice next phase of the Magic Mala moments. I’ll look forward to hearing those, because they do inspire you.
Bob: Yeah, you’re right.
Cheryl: They just make you take seriously this creative power that we have.
Bob: Now, you have a book coming out soon. You want to talk about it?
Cheryl: Oh, no.
Bob: No, you don’t?
Cheryl: I do at the end of the year, yeah. I didn’t know you were gonna ask me that.
Bob: I’m sorry.
Cheryl: You know why? Because it’s literally tomorrow… Today is Sunday. Tomorrow I’m getting the page proofs. You know, you get the page proofs, it’s the last time you have a chance to change anything and you can only change words. You really can’t change sentences when it’s at that stage. And yeah, it’s called, “Waking up in winter.” Bob sees me cringing. “Waking up in winter: In Search of What Really Matters at Midlife.”
Bob: I love that.
Cheryl: Thank you. And yeah, I’m really nervous about it because it’s a very…it’s not a self-help book. It’s a journal.
Bob: A journal? It’s very personal.
Cheryl: It’s very personal.
Bob: Intimate.
Cheryl: Okay, don’t make me more nervous. It’s like a memoir but it’s a real journal of a period of time from after Debbie Ford died, my friend Debbie died. And so I started it in September and finished it on the first day of spring the following year. And it turned out to be a really pivotal time in my life where I was rethinking everything, you know, my life, my marriage, my work. I was embarking on a hero’s journey without realizing it until I got to the end of the journal, as journaling often does, is it kind of reveals to you who you’ve become and what you needed to learn along the way. And so I just decided that rather than write another self-help book, I really feel like I’ve written all I need to write about creating a good life and practicing good self-care. Instead I wanted people to just see what happens when you start listening to your life and you start writing about…you start documenting what’s going on and you use the daily living of life as a process for change and evolution.
You know, who knows? I mean, it’s a departure, it’s a risk, it’s what I knew I needed to do this time as an artist. This was the kind of art I wanted to put out in the world. I wanted to take my writing to a stronger level, a more artistic level. Still accessible because that’s so important to me. And God bless my husband. You know, Michael, because I talk about our relationship, some challenges we came up against. I talk about our sex life. I mean, oh my God.
Bob: Oh, wow.
Cheryl: I know, I can’t imagine. I said to him, “What are we gonna do when your parents read this book? Or my parents?” My dad’s past now. But you know what? It’s like what the hell? At this point in my life, I gotta do, I gotta be true to the art. And I’ll just handle…
Bob: People appreciate that. I always think if you’re not scared when you’re putting a book out, then there’s something wrong with it. You weren’t honest enough. You’re apparently very scared.
Cheryl: And apparently very honest. The question is whether it was too honest or not.
Bob: No, no. People appreciate that. Readers appreciate it. I do, I know. And I can’t wait for that. Maybe we can have a long conversation about your book when it comes out.
Cheryl: Maybe. I know, because you haven’t read it yet either.
Bob: No. You stopped me. You’re like, “I’m editing it. Stop reading it and I’ll give it back,” and you never gave it back.
Cheryl: I know. I’m sorry. But you’ll get it soon.
Bob: I’m looking forward to it.
Cheryl: Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you.
Bob: And I’d love to have a conversation about it.
Cheryl: Yeah, we can do that. Can you see me turning red right now?
Bob: Yeah, you’re right. She’s beet red right now, everybody.
Cheryl: I am. All right, let’s stop talking about me. So, listen, congratulations on this book. I’m so excited for you and I hope everybody picks up a copy of “The Magic Mala,” and not only reads it and feels inspired and hopeful and comforted by its message, but more importantly I hope you actually do what Robbie does in the book, what Robbie and his wife do in the book, so that you can experience a change in your life too. Because it’ll happen, I have no doubt.
Bob: Well, thanks for sharing this with me. I really appreciate it.
Cheryl: This was fun. I’m so glad we did this.
Bob: Yeah, me too. And everybody, if you’re interested, you can go to bobolson.com. Spell it Olson any way you want. It’ll get there. Bobolson.com, or you can go to Amazon, paperback, Kindle. Barnes and Noble, paperback, Nook, iBooks and Kobo. I think a lot of people from Canada go to Kobo. So, it’s kobo.com. So, anyways, it’s all on bobolson.com. The links will be there. Thank you so much for listening and sharing this with me. I appreciate all of you. I appreciate you, Cheryl.
Cheryl: Thank you, Bob. I love you.
Bob: I love you. Bye now.
Afterlife TV is presented by Afterlife Investigator & Psychic Medium Researcher Bob Olson, who is the author of Answers about the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life after Death.
Check out Bob Olson’s other sites: BestPsychicDirectory.com (a directory of hundreds of psychics & mediums by location with reviews & Instant Readings) & BestPsychicMediums.com (his personal recommended list of tested psychics and mediums) or visit Bob’s Facebook Page. Bob also has a popular workshop for psychics and mediums at PsychicMediumWorkshop.com.
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would love to know which chanel on tv your on and what time please thank you liliane vincent
Hi Liliane,
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Bob
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