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They Died Alone. An Afterlife Perspective.

Episode 3, Season 9 of Afterlife TV: Due to current circumstances, people are dying alone or without loved ones by their side. This includes dying in their homes, in the hospital, in nursing homes and other facilities. The other side of this for many people is that they were not able to be with their loved one during their final hours. Today I talk about this tragic reality from my perspective as a private investigator who has investigated life after death since 1997.

There are 3 key points I cover in this episode. As always, my effort in teaching about the afterlife perspective is to share what I’ve learned in my 20-plus years of research and analysis for the purpose of giving you some comfort and peace. I hope this show teaches or reminds you of spiritual truths that are helpful to you in some way.

With love, Bob Olson –  AfterlifeTV.com & BobOlson.com

PS, Thanks to my sweet wife, Melissa, for the lovely photographs in this video.

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Afterlife TV is presented by Afterlife Investigator & Psychic Medium Researcher Bob Olson, who is the author of Answers about the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life after Death.

Check out Bob Olson’s other sites: BestPsychicDirectory.com (a directory of hundreds of psychics & mediums by location with reviews & Instant Readings) & BestPsychicMediums.com (his personal recommended list of tested psychics and mediums) or visit Bob’s Facebook Page. Bob also has a popular workshop for psychics and mediums at PsychicMediumWorkshop.com.

Don’t miss another Afterlife TV episode. Join our email list to get new video announcements (and to download a free excerpt of Bob’s book): CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTER.


Hey, everybody. Bob Olson here with “Afterlife TV.” This is where I talk about the big questions you have concerning life and death. You can find this and every episode at afterlifetv.com.

Bob: Thank you so much for joining me for episode three of season nine here on Afterlife TV. I’m so glad you’re back. Obviously I’m not counting the bite-sized episodes that we’ve played a couple of in the last couple of weeks, and I’m so glad that you’ve been enjoying those. What’s been helpful to me is that you liked those so much and those are both about the afterlife. So, here I am talking about the afterlife once again today we’re going to get back to that. And today’s episode is about something that’s happening in these days that’s certainly occurring a lot more than normal, where human beings are dying without their loved ones by their side. This is something, of course, that happens normally, but right now it is happening a lot more. And the other side of this is that people are dealing with the emotions that are brought on by not being able to be with their loved ones in their final hours here on the physical plane.

So, that’s what today’s episode is about. I want to help bring comfort to any of you who are dealing with this issue, but we’re also going to be applying what I have learned in my 20-plus years of investigation of life after death to this subject. So, I just want to say these episodes, of course, remain available to people online. So, if you happen to be watching or listening to this at a time when you don’t fully understand what I’m talking about in reference to people who are dying alone, I’ll let you know that this episode is being recorded during the COVID-19 pandemic. This is where…I don’t know if we’re in the middle of it, but we’re certainly in the midst of it. And this is a time where we still know very little about this virus except that it’s highly contagious. So, for one, at this moment, we’re all in quarantine or what you might call practicing social distancing.

And two, many of us are not visiting our loved ones like we used to for lots of reasons. If they are in the higher-risk categories. For instance, if they’re elderly and perhaps catching the virus could be deadly to them, then we tend to stay away because none of us know if we’re carrying the virus and just don’t have symptoms yet. Three, many are afraid to visit anyone because we don’t know who might be infected for that same reason. And four, many people are not even allowed to visit their loved ones if they’re in the hospital or in a nursing home or some other facility where there’s people there who are saying, “No, you cannot come in.” So, if you’ve come upon this episode at a time when this is a thing of the past, boy, oh boy, I look forward to that. I know we all do. That’s why I’m talking about people dying alone today.

Now, dealing with loss is hard enough when we’re able to hold our loved ones hand during their passing this situation as a whole new dimension to our grief. So, what does this have to do with the afterlife? Well, there are three points I want to either teach you or remind you of in respect to this bizarre issue and the first is that there is a great deal of evidence from spirit communication with mediums to people’s after-death communications with spirits, particularly through dream visitations and from people’s near-death experiences. Plus, we have the best evidence, which is something called deathbed visions, which informs us that spirits are visiting people who are dying prior to their death. This is an important point for all of us to remember because when we are struggling with the thought that they are all alone, there are our loved ones who died before these people there to greet them, not only after they die, but many are being greeted by these spirits beforehand.

Now, not all of them are going to necessarily tell anybody about it because they fear that someone might not believe them. Of course, many nurses, many of you have had loved ones who were dying that did tell you about it and mentioned what they were seeing, who they were seeing, and what that experience was like. That’s why we know so much about this subject. But there are many who don’t and they keep it to themselves or if they’re unable to talk, for instance, if they’re on a ventilator and they’re really not able to talk with anybody and if they’re by themselves, they’re probably less likely to tell one of the healthcare workers there at the hospital about it, but many people are being welcomed by their loved ones in spirit before they even pass.

So, this is the first point that I wanted to make and I talk about this in “Answers about the Afterlife.” That’s my book about the afterlife and I’m going to read you a little bit from page 43 from that book. This is a book of 150 questions and answers. I answered the question, “My loved one was talking or seeing someone in spirit hours before he died. What was happening?” “It’s common that dying people are welcomed by their loved ones in spirit days or hours before their death. These experiences are known as deathbed visions or pre-death visions. I actually prefer the term pre-death visions, but I use the term deathbed visions in this book because it’s more commonly used. Deathbed visions are when loved ones in spirit visit a dying person days or hours before their death in order to welcome them back to the spirit world. That’s our true home, right? In this way, the dying are greeted by deceased family members and friends, even pets, to prepare them for their forthcoming transition from human to spirit and thereby ease any fears or anxiety they might have about death.”

“In most deathbed visions, the dying person will see or hear, often both, their deceased loved ones on the other side. Some describe this experience as their loved ones, letting them know that they won’t be alone when the time comes to make the transition. It’s common that these conversations can last for several minutes at a time. They can happen several times a day. Sometimes the people in spirit aren’t talking, but the dying person recognizes that they’re present in the room. Usually, when there is communication from spirit to human, it happens telepathically by thought from spirit to human and human to spirit. So, no words need to be spoken out loud. To visitors who are in the room when this takes place, it can seem like their dying loved one is hallucinating. And of course, some doctors and nurses erroneously believe that that’s what’s happening.”

“To witnesses, the messages the dying person is getting might appear lucid and cohesive, while at other times they might seem disjointed and erratic. This often creates a lot of confusion among family members as to whether their dying loved one is experiencing dementia or true spirit contact. Regardless of how it might seem to witnesses in the room, the communication from spirit always comes through clearly to the person receiving it. And it is such a wonderful gift to the dying that eases their fears and reduces their anxiety around death, that it should always be welcomed and accepted.” So, that’s page 43 in my book “Answers about the Afterlife.” That’s also an audiobook right now. So, that’s the first segment. So, I just want to say that in this first segment or any of the three segments that I’m covering here, I’m not attempting to minimize the tragedy of people dying alone or of you not being able to be with your loved one who is in their final hours.

Any of us would be devastated by a loved one passing away in this way. And so, what I’m trying to do here is remind us of these visits by our loved ones in spirit in an attempt to comfort you even if just a tiny bit. So, please keep that in mind. The second point I want to make is this. There was also a great deal of evidence from the same including mediums, after-death communications, and near-death experiences that the spirit of human beings leaves the body prior to death. Now, this doesn’t happen across the board, but it happens quite often. Here’s what I say about this subject in my book “Answers about the Afterlife” on page 32. The question is, “When does our spirit leave our body at death? I’m not going to read you the whole thing, but I’ll just read you a little bit that says, “Our soul, our higher self, is really in charge of this choice and a lot depends upon what our soul wants to experience.”

“Since the purpose of life is to have experiences that can only be known in physical form, including both positive and negative experiences, our soul might or might not feel any benefit from going through a particular dying experience. While our own personal free will does play a large part in how we die, it is our soul that ultimately decides when to pull our spirit out of our body. And when the spirit leaves, the suffering stops. Many people in spirit have communicated through mediums that their spirit left their body before the airplane or automobile crashed, before the bullet hits their body, before the pain of any death experience got unbearable. When this occurs, we experience our death while out of our body yet we are still connected to it spiritually. Many people who have had near-death experiences have also said that they left their body seconds before the physical impact of whatever nearly killed them.”

So, that’s where I’ll end it there. But that’s, again, from “Answers about the Afterlife” on page 32, you can read the rest of it if you want to. Now, I go on to talk about why and when that might not be the case. The long story short of that is that the soul thought there was some benefit to experiencing that death. We can imagine probably what some of those things would be. Again, this is so that we can understand more about the human experience and have compassion for people who have gone through it, but this is a very common experience where people leave their bodies prior to death. And so, in one case, as I mentioned, we have our loved ones in spirit greeting us and welcoming us back home to the spirit world. And then in this situation, we have people who are leaving their bodies before they actually die.

Okay? So, the spirit of the body is leaving before the physical body itself has sometimes gone through any of the trauma of the death. There’s a great clip that I’m going to play for you from a wonderful interview I did with medium Pam Coronado that really illustrates this. Pam is quite famous for her work as both a psychic and a medium helping to solve crimes and locate missing persons. Pam tells a story about a dream she had where she witnessed a person leaving their body prior to being murdered. This is the first experience that Pam had that led her to do the work that she does. She didn’t even realize she was a psychic or medium before, and this was all leading up to it. So, strong example of this concept. Let’s listen to that clip.

Pam: But I dreamed about a woman who went missing locally, and in the dream I guess I had an empathic experience of being her. So, I won’t go into the whole…all the details of the dream other than that I was riding in the backseat of a car in the dream and the person in front of me was my husband, but it was the person that I’ve never laid eyes on before. But in a dream, I knew this was my husband.

Bob: Oh, wow.

Pam: And there was a person in the front seat with him, a female, and I knew that that was his girlfriend and that they were going to kill me. I realized that they were going to kill me. So, I looked out the window… This is still in the dream. I looked out the window and I can still remember it like it was yesterday. There was an angel flying outside the car and waving, like, “Come with me.” And I did. Because that was preferable to wherever we were going. And then I had this experience of going with her to what I could only describe as heaven, to a big castle and these huge walls and a feeling of more reverence than I’ve ever felt in my entire life as in, “I don’t know if I belong here or deserve to be here.” It was a really overwhelming feeling. And the dream was so vivid that I, you know, obviously, I wrote everything down that I could remember because it was just incredible. I’d never had a dream like that. I didn’t know what it meant. I didn’t know what was happening and I didn’t tell anyone just because, you know, it’s kind of strange. And then about three days later, I think it was, I was reading the paper and I didn’t know what to think. I mean, it was the most incredible life-changing moment ever because there was a picture of the man in my dream.

Bob: Oh, wow.

Pam: And his wife was missing and he was the prime suspect.

Bob: No kidding.

Bob: So, I love that story. It has always stayed with me ever since I interviewed Pam, and you can find the link to that full interview with medium Pam Coronado in the show notes. Now, before I get to the third point I want to make, I appreciate you letting me mention that our sponsor today is the online resource I created after my father died in 1997, which inspired me to use my skills as a private investigator, my full-time career at the time, to investigate the afterlife. I wanted to learn where my father went when he died. Unfortunately, because I didn’t know what I know today about psychics and mediums, in my effort to learn about the afterlife from a psychic reading, I was scammed by psychics even though I was a private eye. My ignorance about how psychics work and what to expect from a reading led me to be ripped off.

Now, today, more than 20 years later, I’m an expert on psychics, mediums, animal communicators, and tower readers, and I’ve tested and researched thousands in order to create my online resource where you can find legitimate, incredible psychics and mediums because I believe that people like you shouldn’t have to become an expert on this subject in order to safely get a great reading. And this is why I created an operate daily bestpsychicdirectory.com, again, that is bestpsychicdirectory.com. Okay. Thank you so much for that.

The third point I want to make today, in an attempt to comfort your grief, which is related to a loved one dying alone or you not being able to be with them as they’re passing, is the lesser points of the three that I’m making here, yet still worth mentioning. One of my most viewed episodes on Afterlife TV since I started it in 2011 is my video on what happens to people who take their own life once they get to the afterlife. This is the video on suicide.

In that episode, one of the many key points I mentioned is that people in spirit, once they are in the spirit world, they’re back home, do not forget about all the wonderful memories that they had and the sweet and lovely kind acts they displayed in their lifetime simply because of their final act, the act that led to their death, in this case, taking their own life and neither should we. Now, what I mean by this is as horrible as it is to imagine our loved one dying alone or without us being by their side, we should not focus so much on how they die as much as we should think about the many happy memories we’ve had with them and the many, many kinds of acts and amazing accomplishments over their lifetime. No one in spirit wants their entire life to be shadowed by their final moments. The circumstances of their death, however tragic and sad, is but a tiny incident compared to a lifetime’s proud, joyful, compassionate, remarkable, and loving incidents between the day they were born and the day of their passing.

Especially nowadays where we’re unable to perhaps have the memorial services that we are used to having with lots of people and putting up all their photographs, perhaps creating a video of their life. I know, you know, those things will take place later on. Right now we’re unable to do that, but the acts of putting those photographs and videos together were a great reminder to us. And so, that might be something that would be a good thing for you to do now if you’re dealing with this particular situation in your life right now. And if you are, I’m very sorry to hear that you’re going through that and I know our audience members feel the same way that I do. Now, thinking about this idea of focusing on the tragedy versus focusing on the person’s gifts to this world reminded me of an article I wrote, oh, a long time ago. It was in the 1990s, in fact.

It was in response to a tragic hit and run accident where Melissa and I used to live in Massachusetts, an elderly woman was hit during a snow storm and the driver of the car left her lying on the snowbank. Police pursued the case for over a week and eventually caught the driver. But the sadness of that story hung in the air, like a senseless tragedy often does. And all that aside, the woman had a lifelong effect on me that I illustrate in this story, which was published in the Worcester Telegram, a city in Massachusetts, Worcester Telegram newspaper back when it was written. So, this is in the ’90s. I don’t know the original title, but I have titled it “Be the Love You Want to See in the World.” And I’m going to read the article to you now as a way of closing this show.

“A recent newspaper article featured a story about a woman who was hit by a car and died. It was a hit and run accident that occurred just up the street from our home. Although we didn’t know the 75-year-old woman named Ruth Harper, my wife Melissa and I could not help but to feel deeply troubled by the news of her death. And I’ll explain why. A couple of years ago while I was driving down my street, I saw a woman walking her dog. Her back was to me, but as soon as she heard my car, she turned and waved hello. Hesitantly, I waved back. I anticipated that she would realize I was someone she did not know and think I was weird waving back at her. But in the time that it took for me to think about that, I saw her in my rearview mirror, still waving.”

“The next time I saw this woman walking her dog, she again turned around at the sound of my car and began waving to me. Not so surprised. This time I waved back with enthusiasm. It felt good to have a new friend in the world with whom to say hello. This went on for some time and I was excited for Melissa to witness this sweet woman’s greeting. So, one day when I spotted the woman down the road, I said to Melissa, “Oh, there’s my new friend.” As we drove by the woman, she and I waving at one another. Melissa waved along too with a curious look on her face. In time, this woman became part of our lives. Melissa and I always enjoyed waving to her as we drove home. And when our schedules changed so we were driving home at a different hour, we didn’t see the nice woman anymore.”

“Melissa would often comment, ‘I wonder where our friend is today.’ We felt sadness whenever we drove down the street without seeing her. The newspaper informed us that the woman’s name is Ruth Harper. The reporter interviewed the man who found her body. The man said he didn’t know the woman, but he normally saw her on his way to breakfast. She always waved to him as he drove by her. This particular morning, he didn’t see her. On his return from breakfast, he noticed her body on the side of the snow-covered road. Although we phoned the police immediately from his cell phone, her injuries were fatal. She was pronounced dead at the hospital a couple hours later. Melissa mentioned to me that she felt compelled to go to the funeral services. ‘But we don’t even know her,’ I said, admitting I felt the same impulse.”

“I know she responded. ‘I just feel like we had a connection with her.’ I agreed, of course, and it was then that I discovered a little lesson about life. I’ll never know why she did it, but Ruth’s simple gesture of waving hello to every car somehow touched people. I know she touched Melissa and me, as well as the man who found her on the side of the road, and I’m sure there were many others. I drive by many of the same people day after day and feel nothing. I have worked with people day in and day out and felt less connection with them. Perhaps if they had just returned a smile now and then, it would have been different. Instead, sometimes the best part of my day was when a stranger waved to me on my way home. I’m not suggesting that we begin waving hello to everyone we pass, but I can think of worse habits to start.”

“I’ll bet there are many people who have exchanged derogatory hand signals to strangers a lot more than a friendly wave. Ruth Harper’s story got me wondering why we were so uncomfortable waving hello to people we don’t know. Have you ever smiled at someone in the hall at work or on the street and have them stare blankly at you? Why are we so cold to one another? Especially when it feels so good to exchange, well, I guess I’ll call it an expression of love. Couldn’t the wave hello be considered a gesture that sends a little love? A smile might fall into the same category, although I think it’s safer to smile at someone than to give them a big wave. So, a wave must send more love than a smile, and a hug would be sending even more love, and I guess a kiss would hold a mountain of love.”

“Ever hugged a child? Ever been hugged by a child? One of those great, big bear hugs. It feels so good. It makes your spine melt. Children don’t hold back their love. That’s why nobody hesitates to wave or smile at a child. They know the child will reciprocate. Maybe that is our problem. Maybe we fear that others won’t reciprocate the love we send. Perhaps the reason we sometimes stare blankly at a person who smiles at us is because we’re caught off guard. Even suspicious of anyone we don’t know who is sending us love. ‘What do they want? They must want something from me. Am I being manipulated here? I must be aware.’ By the time we think it through and realize there are no strings attached to their smile, the person has gone and the moment is over. Now, we have possibly hurt them and sure it’s a minor hurt, but we rejected them just the same.”

“When we finally get a second chance to smile at that person at a future date, they’re gun shy and look away. They don’t want to risk being rejected again. An individual only needs to be rejected a few times before he or she will stop waving and smiling at strangers altogether. Before you know it, nobody’s exchanging love with anyone they don’t know and trust anymore. The result is a world that needs more people who are not afraid to wave and smile at one another. Our world needs more people like that nice woman on my street whom I now know is named Ruth Harper, yet now we have lost her. With the help of this loving woman who wasn’t afraid to wave hello to everyone passing her on the street, I learned a valuable lesson. Unfortunately, she had to die before I thought about it. I guess though, it’s not unusual for deaths to teach us the most important lessons about life. “Thanks to this wonderful soul, I have learned the lesson why I’m still healthy and alive. For this I say, thank you, Ruth Harper, and goodbye.”

That was the end of the article. It was a simple article with a simple message, but I received a lot of feedback about it. Who knew so many people read the Worcester Telegram? Three of Ruth Harper’s family members read it and called me. Her granddaughter left me a phone message in tears. She just finished reading the article and said between sniffles, “I never knew that about my grandmother. Thank you so much.” I had forgotten about that article until recently, but I think of Ruth Harper often. Every time Melissa and I are walking our dog while waving at every car that goes by and a stranger drives by us without waving back, likely confused by our gesture, possibly thinking that we have mistaken them for someone else, I think to myself, “You know, next time they drive by us, they’ll know we were waving at them and they too will feel good to know they have a new friend. Either that or they’ll think we’re nuts. Either way, there’ll be right.”

Thanks so much for listening to the show. I hope you gained something from it. I hope you got a new perspective or just a reminder. If nothing else, this show is about reminding us about things that we have forgotten. So, with that, I wish you great health. Thank you for listening to the show. I appreciate all the wonderful comments that you have given to me, either by email or through social media, and I wish you and your families the best of health. Please be safe and we’ll see you next time. Thank you.

So that’s another episode of afterlife TV. Thank you for joining us. Please like us on Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, or sign up for our newsletter at afterlifetv.com so you don’t miss our next episode. See you next time.


Afterlife TV is presented by Afterlife Investigator & Psychic Medium Researcher Bob Olson, who is the author of Answers about the Afterlife: A Private Investigator’s 15-Year Research Unlocks the Mysteries of Life after Death.

Check out Bob Olson’s other sites: BestPsychicDirectory.com (a directory of hundreds of psychics & mediums by location with reviews & Instant Readings) & BestPsychicMediums.com (his personal recommended list of tested psychics and mediums) or visit Bob’s Facebook Page. Bob also has a popular workshop for psychics and mediums at PsychicMediumWorkshop.com.

Don’t miss another Afterlife TV episode. Join our email list to get new video announcements (and to download a free excerpt of Bob’s book): CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR NEWSLETTER.

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